The best jokes about women

"Sorry sir, are these plastic flowers?" "As natural!" "What? They are natural?" "No, plastic!" "But, for Christ Sake, sir! Are they natural or plastic?" "Natural plastic!"
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, women
How can you tell she's a macho women? She rolls her own tampons.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head? A: A brunette.
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, women
Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned.
Vote: has 59.83 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, men, political, science, women
On a crowded bus, an old lady noticed that a man had his eyes closed. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" she asked. "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."
Vote: has 59.74 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
Vote: has 59.51 % from 107 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, women
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight... But honey, what about our kid? What kid? So you are not you pregnant?!
Vote: has 59.35 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, women
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: technology, wine, women, work
Two old women were talking about their sex lives. Ethel was upset because her sex life had really died, while Mildred said her sex life was great. Mildred counseled Ethel, "When my Sammy is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lie on the bed, and put both legs behind my head. When he sees me like that, he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night." Ethel said, "I'm going to try that tonight." While Ethel's husband Harold was in the bathroom that night, she took off all her clothes. She struggled to get both legs behind her head. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel fell backwards and couldn't move. Harold came out of the bathroom with a shocked look on his face. "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in. You look like an a**hole."
Vote: has 59.17 % from 76 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, marriage, sex, women
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives. The one guy said, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional.” The second guy responded, “I’m a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids.” They then asked the woman, “What are you?” She replied: “I’m a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”
Vote: has 58.87 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women


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