Women are like parking spaces, normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, you have to stick it in a disabled one.
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !
On a crowded bus, an old lady noticed that a man had his eyes closed. "What's the matter? Are you sick?" she asked. "No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing."
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested. After that, He creaed man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.