The best kids jokes

Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
Vote: has 69.28 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, kids, new year, sex
When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, kids
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party in a bar. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned: "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit. "And why not, darling?", the father asked. You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, drunk, kids
There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. It being hot and him being thirsty, he decided to stop. Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass. Well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway. He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up." The kid replieds, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents." To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime." "It is," the little boy replies, "That's all you can drink for a dime."
Vote: has 69.06 % from 65 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, kids, money
Yo mamas so ugly, she scares blind kids away.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”
Vote: has 68.32 % from 89 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, kids, school, teacher
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
Vote: has 68.24 % from 149 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Vote: has 68.15 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fat, kids


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