The best kids jokes

Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.
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has 68.61 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids
A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one, when on their way back to the car they little girl stopped her mom. She said "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, sweetheart." her mother replied, "Why ever would you ask such a question?" "The headstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, kids, love
Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
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has 68.44 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, kids
A mother noticed her little dauther praying. "Please, God," the little girl kept saying. "Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia." "Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked. "Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"
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has 68.40 % from 413 votes. More jokes about: geography, god, kids, school
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."
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has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: catholic, church, disgusting, kids
Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman. One of them runs away the other two stay to watch. The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away. Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?" He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."
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has 68.10 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: gay, kids, school, women
Yo mamas so ugly, she scares blind kids away.
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has 68.01 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
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has 67.88 % from 333 votes. More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
Husband: "Good night mother of my three sons." Wife: "Same to you father of none."
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dad, husband, kids, wife
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: beer, drug, kids
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