The best kids jokes

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children. You put groceries in the other.
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has 69.60 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, kids, music
Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman. One of them runs away the other two stay to watch. The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away. Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?" He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."
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has 69.48 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: gay, kids, school, women
Yo mamas so ugly, she scares blind kids away.
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has 69.34 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
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has 68.87 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, dad, kids, sex
Q: You know what lego set Trump played with as a kid? A: The wall maker set.
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: game, kids, money
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
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has 68.61 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids, new year, sex
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
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has 68.56 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, dirty, family, kids
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
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has 68.54 % from 272 votes. More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
A mother noticed her little dauther praying. "Please, God," the little girl kept saying. "Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia." "Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked. "Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"
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has 68.53 % from 408 votes. More jokes about: geography, god, kids, school
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