The best kids jokes

I can't wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids instead of because of them.
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, kids, time, wine
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
Vote: has 69.55 % from 163 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. It being hot and him being thirsty, he decided to stop. Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass. Well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway. He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up." The kid replieds, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents." To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime." "It is," the little boy replies, "That's all you can drink for a dime."
Vote: has 69.49 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, kids, money
Yo mamas so ugly, she scares blind kids away.
Vote: has 69.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, kids
Little Johnny and Mary were standing at the beach in their bathing suits. Johnny says to Mary, hey you show me yours and I'll show you mine. Mary says ok, and drops her bathing suit the same time as Johnie. He look and gasps you don't got one of these, but Mary laughs and says Yea, but with one of these I can get as many of those I want.
Vote: has 68.97 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.” To which the child responded, “Well, then is God Michael Jackson?”
Vote: has 68.89 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, god, kids, music
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
A teacher comes to the home of one naughty kid: "Is your mom at home?" "Nope, she's not here", says the naughty kid, quite scared. "And your father?" "No, he has hidden away as well..."
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, kids, teacher


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