The best kids jokes

A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?" His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don’t know, son." The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?" Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son." Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?" Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son." The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dad, fish, kids
Q: You know what lego set Trump played with as a kid? A: The wall maker set.
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: game, kids, money
Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?" "Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids, mean, ugly
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?" The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?" He promptly replied, "Another train."
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, communication, kids, work
The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids, money, wine
Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle." Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible." Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's condom!"
Vote:
has 65.76 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, mean, sex, vulgar
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote:
has 65.66 % from 413 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, women
Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?" The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom." Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?" The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either." The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?" The nine year old says "They’re for my four year old little brother." The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother?" The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can’t do either of them!"
Vote:
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, technology
One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed. That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."
Vote:
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, dentist, kids, money, religious
Facebook: "My kids are perfect." Instagram: "My kids are beautiful." Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
Vote:
has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: internet, kids
<<<21222324
More jokes →
Page 21 of 53.