The best kids jokes

Happy Father's Day to the only person on the planet still willing to employ me.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, work
Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money
Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, love
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
Vote: has 66.68 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, kids, racist
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, food, kids, ugly
A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while he was bathing. "Mom", he asked, "is that my brain?" "Not yet", she answered.
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, kids
The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch. With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there. "Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father. "But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits. "Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her. And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, god, husband, kids, life
One day this little girl’s dad came home and she runs up to him. “Daddy, the cat died today!” “Well, darling,” said the dad. “That’s just something that happens.” “But why are his arms and legs up in the air?” “Well, darling, that’s just something they do.” She takes the death fairly well and doesn’t mention it until a few days later. When the dad comes home, she runs up to him. “Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!” “What are you talking about?” “I came downstairs and I heard her screaming ’Oh Jesus, take me, take me!’ And she had her arms and legs up in the air and if it hadn’t been for the mailman trying to revive her she would have died.”
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, dad, death, kids
What did the black kid get for Christmas? YOUR BIKE!
Vote: has 66.34 % from 215 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, racist