The best kids jokes

To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No.". Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your mommy there?" "Yes," came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No." Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child. "Yes," whispered the child, "A policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employees home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he is busy," whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" asked the boss. "Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman," came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper," answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now startled. In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The searching team just landed the hello-copper!" Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there?" Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle, "They are looking for me."
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has 70.86 % from 287 votes. More jokes about: cop, kids, little Johnny
The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids, money, wine
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”
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has 70.80 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: doctor, kids, school, teacher
Nurse: "If youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half." Me: [visibly confused] Wife: "The grapes, not the baby."
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has 70.34 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, wife
Husband: "Good night mother of my three sons." Wife: "Same to you father of none."
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dad, husband, kids, wife
One day little Johnny asked his teacher "So you know how most stores have 'you break it you buy it' rule? The teacher responded "Yes why?" Johnny said "Well do you think if you were to be looking at babies to adopt and dropped one that the orphange would make you buy it?"
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has 69.55 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: baby, customer service, kids, little Johnny, teacher
Son: "Dad, I'm cold..." Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, kids, science
Yo mamas so ugly, she scares blind kids away.
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has 69.34 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, teacher, work
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