The best kids jokes

My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad. Ted asked if she was going to use worms. "No," she said. "I'm going to use a fishing pole."
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, fish, kids
I think my sons gay...I took off the seat of his bike, and he didn't notice.
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has 68.35 % from 260 votes. More jokes about: gay, kids
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
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has 68.26 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman. One of them runs away the other two stay to watch. The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away. Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?" He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."
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has 68.14 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: gay, kids, school, women
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”
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has 68.12 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: doctor, kids, school, teacher
A mother noticed her little dauther praying. "Please, God," the little girl kept saying. "Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia." "Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked. "Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"
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has 68.10 % from 399 votes. More jokes about: geography, god, kids, school
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, food, kids, ugly
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids, new year, sex
Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
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has 67.93 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?" "Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: kids, mean, ugly
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