The best kids jokes

A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter." Responses: American: "Keep trying!" Briton: "Change Doctor!" Aussie: "Follow a special diet." Indian: "Practice yoga!" Pinoy: "Let me try!"
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, kids
What do you call a young army? Infantry.
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: kids, military
The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch. With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there. "Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father. "But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits. "Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her. And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: food, god, husband, kids, life
A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while he was bathing. "Mom", he asked, "is that my brain?" "Not yet", she answered.
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has 66.88 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
A mother without any pant was playing with her son. The boy pointing to her mother's pussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet? Mother: "My sweet that is a brush." Son: "Where is it's bundle?" Mother: "In your daddy's pant."
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has 66.75 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, kids, sex
Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?" Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1." Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit." Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead." Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
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has 66.69 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, kids, teacher, vulgar
Facebook: "My kids are perfect." Instagram: "My kids are beautiful." Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: internet, kids
When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids
Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?" "Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids, mean, ugly
Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came a little old man. The son said, "Oh Dad, there’s one." "No," said the father. "There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait." A little while later, along came a really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he’s big enough." "No," the father said. "We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait." About an hour later, there came this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there’s nothing wrong with that one Dad, let’s eat her." "No," said the father. "Were not going to eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we’re going to take her back alive, and eat your mother."
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: kids
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