The best kids jokes

Doctors son: "Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success." Doctor father: "Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly."
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More jokes about: dad, doctor, kids
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, animal, dog, kids, travel
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?  A: She liked kids...
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, doctor, kids
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says "You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She said, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby." With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked... "Then why did you eat him?"
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
Vote: has 66.44 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, kids, sex
Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.
Vote: has 66.28 % from 402 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, Fathers day, kids, sex
I think my sons gay...I took off the seat of his bike, and he didn't notice.
Vote: has 66.22 % from 243 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, kids
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
Vote: has 66.09 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, kids, racist