The best kids jokes

This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
One day, little Suzie was strolling around the house and just happened to pass by her sister’s room. She heard her sister say on the phone to her boy friend. “Your such an as***!” and she hung up. Suzie asked what as*** had meant and her sister sayin “Uh… it means… uhh.. boyfriend!”. Suzie is delighted to hear a new nice word. Then,She was walking past the bathroom where her dad was shaving. Her dad had cut himself and yelled “SHIT!” Then turniing around saw little Suzie ask what shit means. Dad, being quite shocked answered “It uhh.. It.. It means shaving cream.” Then, Suzie walked downstairs to help her mom with the dinner turkey. Suzie’s dad’s boss was coming to dinner tonight. When Suzie went in the kitchen, her mom accidently cut herself yelled”F***k!”. Suzie asked what f***k meant and mom replied ” it..it..it uummm…it means cut… yeah, cut.” Just as mom said that, the doorbell rang and asked Suzie to go and get it. When Suzie opened the door, her dad’s boss was standing there. Boss asked” Well hello young lady! Can I ask where your family is? ”Then Suzie said” Well, my sister’s upstairs talking to her as*** on the phone, my dad’s in the bathroom wiping the shit off his face and my mom’s in the kitchen f***g the turkey!”
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, phone
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
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has 64.13 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: internet, IT, kids, mean, technology
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
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has 64.09 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, food, kids, ugly
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
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has 63.83 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, sport
A teacher comes to the home of one naughty kid: "Is your mom at home?" "Nope, she's not here", says the naughty kid, quite scared. "And your father?" "No, he has hidden away as well..."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, teacher
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kids
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kids, ugly, women
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)
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has 63.77 % from 217 votes. More jokes about: kids
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
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has 63.75 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, kids, racist
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