The best kids jokes

Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died, and I have to bury it." "Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?" "Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"
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has 65.24 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: cat, death, fish, kids, stupid
A farmer brought his daughter a little pot-belly pet pig. She called it "Stinky" when she played with it out in the yard, but she called it "Ballpoint" when it was in the sty. "Tell me," asked her father, "Why do you have two names for your pig?" "That’s easy," she replied, "Ballpoint is just his pen name."
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids
Facebook: "My kids are perfect." Instagram: "My kids are beautiful." Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: internet, kids
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.
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has 65.08 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
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has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, food, kids, ugly
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: football, kids, money
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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has 64.65 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, sex
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.
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has 64.57 % from 319 votes. More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, mean
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
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has 64.52 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, kids, racist
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, family, kids, sex
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