The best kids jokes

Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
Vote: has 64.47 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

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It was at an amusement park on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 2 kids. "Who’s enjoying the most?" I asked cheerfully. "I am" said one. "I am" said the second. "No," the father said "their mother is!"
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?  A: She liked kids...
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, doctor, kids
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, kids, Santa
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, money, wine
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: catholic, church, disgusting, kids
Q: Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids? A: Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
Vote: has 63.26 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, kids, wife
A salesmen rang a house doorbell and it was answered by a kid wearing a top hat, a purple cape, smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of white wine. The salesmen asked: "Are your parents home?" The kid replied: "What does it look like?"
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, kids