The best kids jokes

A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother. He repeated that to his techer every day, when he came to school, "Im getting a brother." One day his mom alllowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly. The next day he came to school and didnt say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happend to his brother. He replyed, "I think mommy ate him."
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, school, teacher
Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, kids, sex
Knock Knock! Who's there? Justin Justin who? Justin time for dinner!
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has 65.58 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
A huge airplane, full of passengers, had just taken off when a 5 year-old bad behaved boy created havoc with yelling and crying out loud. Despite his mother's efforts, the boy could calm down. The passengers, obviously frustrated, gossip about it and some mentioned Herod way for salvation, but they still manage to get through the torture by staying calm and noble. The boy though, had no plans on ease up with his attitude. In fact, he gets worse. Starts screaming, swearing and spitting all around the plane. People got desperate. Suddenly, an old man stands up and walks towards to the little boy with a slow but majestic walk. He was wearing an air force general costume with badges and medals all over his suit jacket. He nudges to the mother so she can stop trying all of her hopeless efforts to quite the boy and then, kindly bends over and whispers something to the boy's ear. The child, immediately stops, takes his seat and fastens his seatbelt. The man went back to his seat with the same confidence, while the whole plane admired his achievement. "Excuse me Mr. General, but what did you say to that child and made him quite?" a lady wondered. "I showed him my medals, ma'am, and told him that I've won them on the battlefield and that those medals give me the right to through a passenger off the plane on any flight I feel like, only once a year and then I mentioned that this year... I haven't picked one yet..."
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: age, airplane, kids, old people
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beer, drug, kids
A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom. The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades. "Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: kids, school, stupid
What did the black kid get for Christmas? YOUR BIKE!
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has 65.43 % from 231 votes. More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, racist
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
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has 65.26 % from 399 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, women
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: kids
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