The best kids jokes

What did the black kid get for Christmas? YOUR BIKE!
Vote: has 66.16 % from 217 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, racist
A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom. The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades. "Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, school, stupid
Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
Vote: has 65.46 % from 146 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote: has 65.44 % from 398 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, women
Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old
Vote: has 65.19 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, student, teacher, time
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A father, as he was going home, he saw his daughter on the porch, kissing a guy goodnight. Disturbed, he turned to the guy. "In our home, young man, we turn of the light at 11 o'clock, sharp!" "Oh, Thank you so much Sir! That's so convenient! Thanks!"
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, time
A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs. When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered: "Its name is trouble". When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied: "I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's ass saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, kids, sex, teacher
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
Vote: has 64.93 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, kids, little Johnny, mean, poems
Once upon time, there were three friends playing on a beach. One kid's parents were good business people. The second kid lives in a good family where he is taught to respect his elders. The third kid was a poor redneck with an abusive father. Anyways, they were playing on the beach when a helicopter crashed down into the water. They saw a man drowning and all raced to save him. As they pulled the man to shore they realized it was Obama. The president then said, "Thank you kids for saving me! I'll give you each one wish!" The first kid said he wanted a helicopter. The second kid wished for some money. And the redneck asked for a wheel chair. Obama, concerned, asked why the poor boy wouldn't want some money for his family. The kid replied, "Cause when pap finds out what I've done, I ain't gonna be walking for a pretty long time."
Vote: has 64.93 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, old people, political, racist