The best kids jokes

Q: What animal has the most kids. A: A sperm whale.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, kids
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kids
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: kids, ugly, women
A teacher comes to the home of one naughty kid: "Is your mom at home?" "Nope, she's not here", says the naughty kid, quite scared. "And your father?" "No, he has hidden away as well..."
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, teacher
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)
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has 63.77 % from 217 votes. More jokes about: kids
Bertie comes sadly to his mommy and says, "Mom, the kids have been mean to me. They keep teasing me that my feet are too big. Please tell me honestly. Are my feet to big?" "Of course not, Bertie. Now go put your shoes in the garage, the dinner is ready."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: kids, mean, ugly
One day this little girl’s dad came home and she runs up to him. “Daddy, the cat died today!” “Well, darling,” said the dad. “That’s just something that happens.” “But why are his arms and legs up in the air?” “Well, darling, that’s just something they do.” She takes the death fairly well and doesn’t mention it until a few days later. When the dad comes home, she runs up to him. “Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!” “What are you talking about?” “I came downstairs and I heard her screaming ’Oh Jesus, take me, take me!’ And she had her arms and legs up in the air and if it hadn’t been for the mailman trying to revive her she would have died.”
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has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: cat, dad, death, kids
Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died, and I have to bury it." "Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?" "Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"
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has 63.49 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: cat, death, fish, kids, stupid
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
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has 63.48 % from 457 votes. More jokes about: catholic, husband, kids, marriage
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
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has 63.48 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, sport
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