The best kids jokes

How do you tell if a black girls pregnant? Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
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has 63.39 % from 642 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, kids, racist
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
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has 63.39 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, kids, racist
A mother without any pant was playing with her son. The boy pointing to her mother's pussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet? Mother: "My sweet that is a brush." Son: "Where is it's bundle?" Mother: "In your daddy's pant."
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has 63.38 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, kids, sex
Knock Knock! Who's There? Figs Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
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has 63.33 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: kids, knock-knock
As a child, I was afreid of ghosts. As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
A young teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian. She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too. Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air. There's just one girl who doesn't raise her hand. So the teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. The girl says, "Because I'm not a Christian." The teacher asks, "So what are you then? " The girl replies, "I'm an atheist." The teacher's a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she's an atheist. The girl says, "It's just that my family isn't religious. My Mom's atheist, and my Dad's atheist, so I'm atheist."rnrnThe teacher is now angry. " That's no reason." she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?" "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a born-again Christian."
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has 63.09 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: atheist, Christmas, kids, religious, teacher
A conversation among my Children's Church a while back. A little girl announced proudly to our class one day, "My mommy has a baby in her belly!" The little boy next to her was mortified! "Why did your mommy eat a baby!"
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: baby, church, family, kids
Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
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has 63.06 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: black humor, jewish, kids, morbid
Mom! I'm a 3D printer! Oh come on, Tommy, close the door when you poop.
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has 62.85 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, kids, technology
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids
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