The best jokes about life

Q: Why is Santa always so jolly? A: He knows where all the naughty girls live.
Vote:
has 81.28 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: dirty, life, Santa, women
Things our family enjoys together without anyone complaining: 1.
Vote:
has 81.25 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: family, life
Law of employment: When leaving work late, you will mostly go unnoticed. When you leave early, you will meet your boss at the parking lot.
Vote:
has 81.25 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: car, life, work
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,"Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Vote:
has 81.25 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: business, life, student, women
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab test, he said I was doing “fairly well” for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?” He asked, “Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?” “Oh no,” I replied. “I’ve never done either.” Then he asked, “Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?” I said, “No, I heard that all red meat is very unhealthy.” “Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, ballooning, motorcycling, rock climbing?” “No, I don’t,” I said. He said, “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or sexually fool around?” “No,” I said. “I have never done any of those things.” He looked at me and said, “Then why do you give a shit if you live to be 80?”
Vote:
has 81.21 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life
A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off: "I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses." Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note: "I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job... Lead us not into temptation."
Vote:
has 81.21 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: age, life, time
When a married man says "I'll think about it", what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
Vote:
has 81.21 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, wife
Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.
Vote:
has 81.16 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, life
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew it.
Vote:
has 81.16 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: life
A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Vote:
has 81.11 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: life
<<<10111213
More jokes →
Page 10 of 82.