A fat lady (To a health expert): "Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness." Health expert: "Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time." Fat lady: "At which particular time?" Health expert: "Whenever anybody asks you to eat."
Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?" The girl says, "A bus." The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"
Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many new ones, try a different one each day.
Get to know your mate. If there's something you need to know about him, just ask him right up front. And choose the right moment because the fellas don't like opening up. Like, after intimacy, turn around, look him in his eye and say, "I've been wanting to know, what's your name?"
Q:Did you hear the joke about the rope? A:Just skip it.
Big inspection on a build site/yard. The boss tells the workers : what ever happens just act as usual. The inspection committee were inspecting when a wall just colapses. -(Worker looking at his watch) : 10:15, just on time
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? A: Look for sesame seed buns.
What is height of Secrecy? Offering blank visiting cards.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
I'm tired 8 days a week.