There was a guy that was sick he went to the doctor and said "Doctor I have a fever”" The doctor said, "you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine." The sick one said, "but doctor, I only have 3 spoons what shall I do?"
What is height of Secrecy? Offering blank visiting cards.
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
I'm tired 8 days a week.
Me: "I'm finally happy!" Life: "Lol, wait a sec."
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire prick.
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches Long? A: Because if it will 12 inches then it will a foot.