The best jokes about life

I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life, sex
Heading off to college at the age of 40, I was a bit self-conscious about my advancing years. One morning I complained to my husband that I was the oldest student in my class. "Even the teacher is younger than I am," I said. "Yeah," he said optimistically, "but look at it from my point of view. I thought my days of fooling around with college girls were over!"
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has 77.53 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: life
Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful!
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has 77.53 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: food, life, technology
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
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has 77.53 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: car, life
Songs are not going to make us do anything we would not ordinarily do. Because if that was the case, the song "Achy Breaky Heart" would have made me kill somebody about a year ago.
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: death, life, music
A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blouses and nice breasts. 10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also. 10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free. 10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator. 10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, food, life, old people
If you think nobody care if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life, money
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life, money
Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
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has 77.49 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: life, music, sex
A Rolls Royce pulls up in to an expensive restaurant. A sheik emerges, followed by a harem of women and a rooster. After ordering for himself and his harem, the sheik requests a basket of apples for the rooster. The rooster proceeds to eats three baskets of apples. The waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster. The sheik explains, "A genie granted me three wishes. My first wish was to have an endless supply of money. My second wish was to have many beautiful women. And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock."
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has 77.47 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: car, food, life, money, women
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