The best jokes about life

Going to war without the French is like going hunting without your accordion.
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has 79.18 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: hunting, life, war
Men are divided into two groups: 50% are wise and 50% have married.
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has 79.18 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, men
On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob." All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says "Don’t forget the coffee!"
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has 79.18 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: life
Like changing coins - I always desired to change my 60 old years wife to three 20 years girls!
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has 79.16 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: age, life, marriage, money, wife
A priest passed near a young boys gang that were hanging out next to the church. He went close to them and asked them: "What are you boys doing there?" "Not much, Father. We are playing a game in which however says the biggest lie about his sexual life, wins!" "Oh, boys!" surprised said the priest. "When I was your age I wasn’t even thinking about sex!" And the boys unanimously: "You won, Father!"
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has 79.09 % from 589 votes. More jokes about: age, church, life, priest, sex
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
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has 79.00 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: god, life, religious
Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
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has 78.99 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: life, music, sex
Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
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has 78.87 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: athlete, life
A guy drives on the highway and sees a sign that says, "Mississippi State Whorehouse 10 miles." He decides to stop in. A madam answers the door, and the man requests a whore. The madam says, "I'll need $500 first." The man pays, then asks about his whore again. The madam says "Wait for 15 minutes in that hallway. Go straight, left, straight, right, and then go through the door at the end of the hall." He follows the directions, walks out the door and finds himself in the parking lot. His car has a sign on it that says, "Congrats! You've just been screwed by the state of Mississippi!"
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has 78.85 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: life, money, travel
A student was lucky to find a decent accommodation with a cheap rent. His colleagues came to visit him and he was showing them the house. "This is the kitchen. This is the bedroom. And this one is the living room ... " "And what are this hammer and this pot that are hanging on the wall for? What are you going to do with them?" one of his colleagues asked. "This is a talking clock." "I have never seen a clock like that. Can you show me how it works?" "Sure. Look," the student said. He took the hammer and struck at the pot with all his strength. Then a voice was heard from the other side, "What you are doing? Are you crazy? It is half past one in the night, you idiot!"
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has 78.85 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: college, life, student, time
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