The best jokes about life

Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap. He was high on my list of priorities.
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: friendship, life
An ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't snore, doesn't watch football, doesn't argue and DOESNT'T EXIST.
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: hipster, life, work
The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: life, political, relationship
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 73.47 % from 361 votes. More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex
My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dad, dog, kids, life
A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said: "Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" "Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one."
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
Q:How do crazy people go through the forest? A:They take the psycho path.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
There once was a gal named Lewinsky, Who played music like a Stravinsky. "Twas "Hail to the Chief" On this flute made of beef. That stole the front page from Kaczynski. Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky, "We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski. Since you look such a mess, Use the hem of your dress And wipe that goo off of your chinsky." Lewinsky and Clinton have shown. What Kaczynski must surely have known: That an intern is better. Than a bomb in a letter. Given the choice of how to be blown.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, music
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
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