The best jokes about life

If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Two skeletons meet, and one asks the other, "Did you die before the Social Security reform, or after?" "No, I'm still alive."
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, political
I couldn't understand why it hurts a lot when you bite your tongue accidentally, but it doesn't hurt when you bite it intentionally, and what I couldn't understand most is why you're biting your tongue right now?!
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: life
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies." He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile." The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile." The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled... "SUPPLIES!"
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has 72.44 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: life, racist
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story. "Once upon a time there was a white bunny..." "Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?" "Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said. "Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...." "Dad, a little more grown up!" "Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown. " I swear!" "Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, science
Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast. They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes. Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped. Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped. Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped. The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said "Why? We can both jump." "How is that?" said the monk. The boy replies, "Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!"
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: airplane, life, political, school
My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology." So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!" Then I disconnected his life support.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: life, old people, technology
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sport
What is Jehovah's wiseness favorite band? The Doors.
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has 71.97 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: god, life, music, religious
This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
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has 71.97 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, family, life, men
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