The best jokes about life

Two Reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder: Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
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has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: death, dentist, life, mean, redneck
Rita is complaining to her friends about her husband's extreme dedication to his new job. You see, Rita's husband has been jobless for quite a while. She tells her friends, "I appreciate the fact that at last he's found a new job, but I don't like him taking his work home and finishing it in our bedroom." "Why, what's his new job?" "He's an embalmer."
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has 71.85 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, work
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?" The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight..."
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, time
Cletus Cletus goes to work and sees that one of his co-workers has a thermos. He asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." Cletus was amazed and when he got home immediately went out and bought one. The next day he goes to work and is proud that he has this wonderful object. The same co-worker realizes he has a thermos and says, "What do you have in it?" He says, "Soup and ice cream!"
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food, life, work
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then voice in my head says: "Haha nice one!" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life
Could you imagine if God turns out to be a woman ? Not only am I going to hell, but I will never know why.
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has 71.72 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: god, life, women
All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dad, dog, kids, life
I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: geography, life, mother in law
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
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has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, marriage, sex
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