The best jokes about life

Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
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has 71.85 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: life
The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch. With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there. "Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father. "But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits. "Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her. And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food, god, husband, kids, life
I'm trying to write a joke about overdosing on cocaine. But I need a line to end it.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: drug, life
I went to blockbusters last night and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever. The bloke at the counter said, "NO you have to bring it back tomorrow!"
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, celebrity, life, music
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
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has 71.44 % from 255 votes. More jokes about: family, life, work
If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground? The rest of your life...
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
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has 71.32 % from 303 votes. More jokes about: asian, blonde, food, life
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