There once was a gal named Lewinsky,
Who played music like a Stravinsky.
"Twas "Hail to the Chief"
On this flute made of beef.
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.
Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
"We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski.
Since you look such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And wipe that goo off of your chinsky."
Lewinsky and Clinton have shown.
What Kaczynski must surely have known:
That an intern is better.
Than a bomb in a letter.
Given the choice of how to be blown.
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
A tourist was watching an Indigenous man sending smoke signals.
Everything around him was primitive, except of a latest model fire extinguisher.
"What's the fire extinguisher for?" the tourist wondered.
"It's for erasing the misspellings!"
Q: What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken?
A: A pecking order.
A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a loan application.
"Do you have references?" she asked.
The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"
What was Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me."
Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.