The best jokes about life

Why Coffee Is Better Than Women: - A cup of coffee looks good in the morning. - You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee. - You won't get arrested for picking up coffee on the street at 3 a.m. - You can make coffee as sweet as you want. - You can get cup after cup of different coffees all day long. - No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee. - Coffee doesn't talk to you. - Most coffee is hot, unless you request it otherwise. - Coffee stains are easier to remove. - Coffee is ready in 10 minutes or less. - When coffee gets cold, you can throw it away. - When you drink coffee, you don't end up with a pube in the back of your throat. - Coffee doesn't take up half your bed and all the hot water.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life
When a White guy is... Scared- He gets even whiter. Cold- He turns Blue. Angry-He turns Red. Stoned- Gray duh. Sick- He turns Green. When a Black guy is... Scared- He stays Black. Cold- He stays Black. Angry- He stays Black. Stoned- He stays Black. Black Man to White Man: And you calling us colored.
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has 73.41 % from 537 votes. More jokes about: life, white people
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 73.33 % from 367 votes. More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex
I couldn't understand why it hurts a lot when you bite your tongue accidentally, but it doesn't hurt when you bite it intentionally, and what I couldn't understand most is why you're biting your tongue right now?!
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has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
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has 72.91 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, life, sex
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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has 72.84 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, game, life
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
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has 72.83 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, internet, life, music
Always be yourself. Unless you can be quiet, then be that.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life
Patient: Doc I keep on forgetting things. Doctor: Since when did you have these problems? Patient: What problems?
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has 72.60 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: life
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
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has 72.60 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, food, life, music
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