The best jokes about life

Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
Vote: has 73.02 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT, life, technology
Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Some members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, "Now, I’d like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine." Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight members said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently." "Hmm?" said the manager. "And are you sure you having nothing else to add?" "Well, yes," said the member. "I lie extensively."
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, life
Q: What is height of forgetfulness? A: Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
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More jokes about: life
Customer: "Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?" Waiter: "Can’t you tell the difference by taste?" Customer: "No, I can’t." Waiter: "Then does it really matter?"
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More jokes about: food, life
I don't understand why people pay shrinks when I'll tell them what's wrong with themselves for free.
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More jokes about: doctor, life
Did you hear about the blind circumcicionist? He got the sack.
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What did the egg say to the boiling water? "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."
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More jokes about: food, life, time
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life