The best jokes about life

Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
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has 68.65 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: food, life, racist
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton and Representative Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, god, heaven, life, political
I'm actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song. It gives me time to change the radio station.
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life, music
A grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: god, heaven, life
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: life
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, music, science
Madonna is 54 and her boyfriend's 25, Jennifer Lopez is 43 and her boyfriend's 26, so if you're single its ok, maybe he's just not born yet.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
Women are looking for Mr. Right. Men are looking for Ms. Right Now.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts!
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal." Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, life
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