The best jokes about life

Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life, money, tax
A photographer goes to a haunted castle determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween. The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank. Moral of the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: business, Halloween, life
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, wife
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I’ll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She’s gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He’s gone. "OK, you’re up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say...
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: What is height of forgetfulness? A: Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life
A preacher's wife goes to the butcher. The butcher asks if she'd like to try some damn ham. The preacher's wife is shocked. The butcher explains that "Dam Ham" is the brand name of the meat and shows her the packaging with the beaver and dam logo. That night, the preacher asks, "What's for dinner?" His wife says she bought some damn ham from the butcher. The preacher scolds his wife for using such language in their home. She explains the "Dam Ham brand name and their logo. At the dinner table, the preacher asks his 16-year-old son to pass him the "Dam Ham." The son replies, "I'll pass the damn ham if you pass me the muthaf**kin' mashed potatoes."
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food, life, wife
I don't understand why people pay shrinks when I'll tell them what's wrong with themselves for free.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
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has 67.48 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: life
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache, and suddenly she is not your friend anymore...
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has 67.39 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: life
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