The best jokes about life

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
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Do you know what a plateau is? It's the highest form of flattery!
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Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
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More jokes about: baby, celebrity, life
Cletus Cletus goes to work and sees that one of his co-workers has a thermos. He asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." Cletus was amazed and when he got home immediately went out and bought one. The next day he goes to work and is proud that he has this wonderful object. The same co-worker realizes he has a thermos and says, "What do you have in it?" He says, "Soup and ice cream!"
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If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
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More jokes about: graduation, life, school, work
The buzzword of this election is "CHANGE." Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to. Just that we need CHANGE! This brings to mind the following illustration... Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the "Gunny" that they smelled bad. The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear. The "Gunny" responded, "Aye, aye, sir. I'll see to it immediately." He went into the tent and said, "The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and he wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, Brown, you change with Schultz..." "Change, now get on with it!" And the moral is: A candidate may promise change in Washington... but the stink remains!
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More jokes about: communication, life, military, political, time
Q: What does the baker have under his apron? A: Dough nuts.
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Why does Rick Ross rap about cars when he cant fit in them.
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All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.
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I'm actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song. It gives me time to change the radio station.
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More jokes about: life, music