The best jokes about life

Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, music, science
What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life, travel
A preacher's wife goes to the butcher. The butcher asks if she'd like to try some damn ham. The preacher's wife is shocked. The butcher explains that "Dam Ham" is the brand name of the meat and shows her the packaging with the beaver and dam logo. That night, the preacher asks, "What's for dinner?" His wife says she bought some damn ham from the butcher. The preacher scolds his wife for using such language in their home. She explains the "Dam Ham brand name and their logo. At the dinner table, the preacher asks his 16-year-old son to pass him the "Dam Ham." The son replies, "I'll pass the damn ham if you pass me the muthaf**kin' mashed potatoes."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: food, life, wife
I don't understand why people pay shrinks when I'll tell them what's wrong with themselves for free.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, life, money, tax
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life
You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: college, life
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examins him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?" The Doctor says, "You’re not drinking enough water."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, life
A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" came the reply
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: food, life
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