The best jokes about life

I don't understand why people pay shrinks when I'll tell them what's wrong with themselves for free.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I’ll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She’s gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He’s gone. "OK, you’re up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say...
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life
You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: college, life
Q: What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A: A pecking order.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: bird, life, religious
A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" came the reply
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: food, life
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well. The doctor examins him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?" The Doctor says, "You’re not drinking enough water."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, life
Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, money
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache, and suddenly she is not your friend anymore...
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has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: life
Life may not be worth living, but what else can you do with it?
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: life
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