The best jokes about life

If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground? The rest of your life...
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A old man was sitting in the front row at a town meeting, heckling the mayor as he delivered a long speech. Finally the mayor could stand it no longer, so he pointed to the heckler and said, "will that gentleman please stand up and tell the audience what he has ever done for the good of the city." "Well Mr. Mayor," the man said in a firm voice. "I voted against you in the last election."
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, music, women
Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life
The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest. Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger. The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit. Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen. "That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, health, life
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, ugly
Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches Long? A: Because if it will 12 inches then it will a foot.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, life
Chuck Norris has found what U2 are looking for.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, music
A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a loan application. "Do you have references?" she asked. The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, money