The best jokes about life

How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize? Cause he was outstanding in his field.
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Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire prick.
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Imagine that ur in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you. What do you do? U stop imagining...
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My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology." So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!" Then I disconnected his life support.
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Grandma: "Why is that dumb piece of cotton candy talking." Me: "Grandma, thats Nikki Minaj."
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The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.
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If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, god, life
10 Facts About You: 1. You're reading this now. 2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact. 4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3. 5. You're checking now. 6. You're smiling. 7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid. 9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8. 10. You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again. 11. You're enjoying this. 12. You didn't realize I said 10 facts not 12.
Vote: has 69.30 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

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Doc, I think I need to wear glasses Indeed you have to, you are in a bank.
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life