The best jokes about life

Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, music, science
Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband: "Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?" I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison" And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband: "Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" The guy not very delighted tells her: "Lets put him into the prison another time!!" And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him: "!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal. And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says: "!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!" And he answers with his last breath: "HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
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has 67.16 % from 319 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, love, prison, sex
Life may not be worth living, but what else can you do with it?
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: life
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
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has 67.14 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story. "Once upon a time there was a white bunny..." "Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?" "Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said. "Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...." "Dad, a little more grown up!" "Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown. " I swear!" "Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
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has 67.13 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, science
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
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has 66.98 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
Ok, so there this girl sleeping in religion class The teaches asks the class "who is our lord and savior?" The boy behind the girl pokes her with a pen and she screams jesus christ! The teacher says "good, now who created the earth in seven days?" The boy pokes the girl again, she lest "oh my god!" The teacher says "good, now what did Eve say to Adam after their 11 child? The boy pokes the girl one more time and the girl yells "if you poke me with that ting one more time im going to break it off!"
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: god, life, teacher
Life is all about mind and matter - I don't mind and You don't matter...
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: life
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the Pearly Gates, petted her on the head and said, "You have been a good cat for these 40 years. Anything that you want is yours for the asking." The cat thought for a minute and replied, "All my life I have lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on." God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge, fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident, and they all went to heaven together. God met them at the gates of Heaven with the same offer He made to the cat. The mice said, "Well, all our lives we've had to run from dogs, cats and even people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller skates, we'd never have to run again." God said, "It is done!" All the mice had beautiful little roller skates. About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How you been doing? Are you happy?" The cat replied, "Oh, I've never been so happy in my life! My pillow is so fluffy, and those little meals-on-wheels you've been sending over here are delicious!"
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has 66.93 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, god, heaven, life
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But In the end, it doesn't even matter.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life, music
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