The best jokes about life

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
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More jokes about: animal, life
Q: How is a boss better than a wife? A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
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More jokes about: life, management, money, wife
Chuck can use "save" in real life. But he doesn't need it.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, technology
A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes. When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?" God responds, "You are what you are" The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question. One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes" The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"
Vote: has 68.01 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, god, life, racist
Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
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More jokes about: food, life, racist
A grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"
Vote: has 67.89 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, heaven, life
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I’ll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She’s gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He’s gone. "OK, you’re up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say...
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life
Scientists invented a machine to catch thieves. In 30 minutes in Canada the machine caught 10 thieves, in 15 minutes in the U.S the machine caught 5 thieves, in 3 minutes in Trinidad thieves stole the machine.
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More jokes about: life, science
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
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More jokes about: food, life, money, political


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