The best jokes about life

"Doctor I feel like biscuits!" "What, you mean those square ones?" "Yes!" "The ones you put butter on?" "Yes!" "Well, that means you’re crackers!"
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, food, life
Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: What's in the wardrobe? A: Narnia business.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: business, life
That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you put another dish in the sink.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life
That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
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has 66.53 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a loan application. "Do you have references?" she asked. The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life, money
On a beach a man shouts at another man: Tell your son not to imitate me. A man to his son: Son, stop playing the fool.
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: life
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the Pearly Gates, petted her on the head and said, "You have been a good cat for these 40 years. Anything that you want is yours for the asking." The cat thought for a minute and replied, "All my life I have lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on." God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge, fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident, and they all went to heaven together. God met them at the gates of Heaven with the same offer He made to the cat. The mice said, "Well, all our lives we've had to run from dogs, cats and even people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller skates, we'd never have to run again." God said, "It is done!" All the mice had beautiful little roller skates. About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How you been doing? Are you happy?" The cat replied, "Oh, I've never been so happy in my life! My pillow is so fluffy, and those little meals-on-wheels you've been sending over here are delicious!"
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has 66.18 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, god, heaven, life
Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: life, programmer, sex
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