That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you put another dish in the sink.
Romi (to the doctor): "Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift."
Doctor: "Tell her to come in."
Romi: "I cannot"
Doctor: "Why so?"
Romi: "Because she does not stop at this floor."
Q: What does the baker have under his apron?
A: Dough nuts.
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story.
"Once upon a time there was a white bunny..."
"Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?"
"Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said.
"Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...."
"Dad, a little more grown up!"
"Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown.
" I swear!"
"Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
Now, that's gotta be a hell of a thing to go to jail for cable.
You in there with mass murderers and everybody.
"What you in here for?"
"I killed six people. What you in here for?"
"Comedy Central."
Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
Q: What is height of forgetfulness?
A: Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a loan application.
"Do you have references?" she asked.
The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"
What is Jehovah's wiseness favorite band?
The Doors.
Funny Lists: Eight ways to say "Your Fly Is Open"
1. The cucumber has left the salad.
2. You've got Windows in your laptop.
3. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
4. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6. Sailor Ned is trying to take a little shore leave.
7. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
8. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.