The best jokes about life

What are the three rules for being a plumber? 1. Hot water is always on the left. 2. Shit doesn't flow uphill 3. Never chew your fingernails.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
Patient: "I am sorry to call you to my house so far away from your chamber at this time of night." Doctor: "Don’t worry. I have another patient near here. So I can Kill two birds with one stone."
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, life
A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away. "Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank" says the shepherd. "You are exactly right!" responds the man, "but tell me, how did you deduce that?" "Well," says the shepherd, "put down the dog and I will tell you."
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" came the reply
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, life
If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: life
Big inspection on a build site/yard. The boss tells the workers : what ever happens just act as usual. The inspection committee were inspecting when a wall just colapses. -(Worker looking at his watch) : 10:15, just on time
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: life, time, work
"Doctor I feel like biscuits!" "What, you mean those square ones?" "Yes!" "The ones you put butter on?" "Yes!" "Well, that means you’re crackers!"
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, food, life
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? A: Look for sesame seed buns.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
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