Big inspection on a build site/yard. The boss tells the workers : what ever happens just act as usual. The inspection committee were inspecting when a wall just colapses. -(Worker looking at his watch) : 10:15, just on time
"Doctor I feel like biscuits!" "What, you mean those square ones?" "Yes!" "The ones you put butter on?" "Yes!" "Well, that means you’re crackers!"
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? A: Look for sesame seed buns.
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day. That seems like a strange place to put a call center.
A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?" Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?" "We made copies of all the receipts!"
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
I went to a very beautiful place yesterday. There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land. I was so happy until some idiot woke me up...
So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.