The best jokes about life

Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: food, life, political
10 Facts About You: 1. You're reading this now. 2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact. 4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3. 5. You're checking now. 6. You're smiling. 7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid. 9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8. 10. You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again. 11. You're enjoying this. 12. You didn't realize I said 10 facts not 12.
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has 66.50 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: life
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, wife
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, life
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Two friends were having a discussion about their relatives.... "I'll never amount to anything in life..", said the one friend. "In fact, my uncle is the town drunk.." "Well...that's not too bad.", replied the other, trying to console his friend. "Where does your uncle live..?" "New York City..."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, life
Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hiking. They hiked all day long and then, having gotten tired, unpacked and quickly retired. Holmes wakes up deep into the night, wakes Watson and says "Watson, do you see the bright stars and do you notice how clear the sky is? What can you deduce from it?" Watson yawns and tries to play the game. LWell, this clearly tells us the weather tomorrow is going to be dry and sunny." "No, my friend. It’s much simpler than that. Someone has stolen our tent."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music, women
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: How do you drown a hipster? A: In the mainstream.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: death, hipster, life
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