The best jokes about life

You want to come in my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request. Don’t stand at the door, you’re blocking the traffic.
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More jokes about: life
How do you know when an Asian breaks into your home? Your house is clean, your computer is fixed, and their still pulling out of your driveway.
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More jokes about: computer, life
Going to war without the French is like going hunting without your accordion.
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More jokes about: hunting, life, war
Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary. One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter. The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room. Finally one of them said, “I can’t take this, I’m going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!” The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face. “What happened?” asked the waiting car occupant. The other partner announced, “They were twins and mine died!”
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More jokes about: car, death, hospital, lawyer, life
Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...
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More jokes about: doctor, health, life
What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight. A black eye, and a swollen lip.
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More jokes about: life
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
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More jokes about: animal, celebrity, life, music
"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
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More jokes about: life, science, work
Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
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More jokes about: life
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
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More jokes about: food, life