You want to come in my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request. Don’t stand at the door, you’re blocking the traffic.
"Knock Knock?" "Who's there?" "Europe." "Europe who?" "No you're a poo."
Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...
What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight. A black eye, and a swollen lip.
A Pontiac takes examinations for the driver’s licence for the fourth year in a row. The examiner asks him "So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; the one young and the other an old woman. Which one are you going to hit?" "Of course the old woman!" The examinet frustrated "I told you last year! You hit the brakes!"
Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.
"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?"