Ok, so there this girl sleeping in religion class The teaches asks the class "who is our lord and savior?" The boy behind the girl pokes her with a pen and she screams jesus christ! The teacher says "good, now who created the earth in seven days?" The boy pokes the girl again, she lest "oh my god!" The teacher says "good, now what did Eve say to Adam after their 11 child? The boy pokes the girl one more time and the girl yells "if you poke me with that ting one more time im going to break it off!"
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ......... and stay for breakfast. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything had been SO incredible!!!! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?". "No," she replies, "You just happened to catch my eye."
What are the three rules for being a plumber? 1. Hot water is always on the left. 2. Shit doesn't flow uphill 3. Never chew your fingernails.
You want to come in my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request. Don’t stand at the door, you’re blocking the traffic.
"Knock Knock?" "Who's there?" "Europe." "Europe who?" "No you're a poo."
"I really don’t know girl, but I don’t believe in love at first sight!" "Why?" "Because... How can you tell if the man has a good salary at the first sight?"
Q:Why is a doctor always calm. A: Because it has a lot of patients.
Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...
Dentist (to the patient: "For God’s sake, stop making those noises and waving your arms. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet." Patient: "Yes, I know. But u’re standing on my foot."