Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove?
About a half an hour...
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what."
Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready."
Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave."
Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know."
Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you."
Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does."
Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry."
Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red."
Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going."
Her: "I'm really on my period."
Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
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Joke has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, love, relationship
Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?"
Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed?
Yeah... now he has no ears.
Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.
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An elderly retired couple went to a doctor.
The man said, "We want to know if we are making love properly.
Will you look at us?" "Go ahead," said the doctor. They made love.
"You are making love perfectly," the doctor said.
"That will be $10."
They came back six weeks in a row and did the same thing.
On the seventh visit the doctor said, "What are you coming here like this for - I told you that you are making love properly!"
"She can't come to my house," said the man, "and I can't go to her house.
A motel costs $20.
You charge us $10 and we get $8 back from Medicare."
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Do you believe in love at first set?
Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?
I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day.
Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning.
Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.
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