Without you I can't breath. I love you so much my nose.
Life is like a definite integral. Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party? A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.
Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.
Three women talk about their husband's performance as lovers. The first woman says, "My husband is a marriage counselor, so he always buys me flowers and candy before we make love." The second woman says, "My husband is a motorcycle mechanic. He likes to play rough and use leather sometimes." The third woman shakes her head and says, "My husband works for an Internet company. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when I get it."
When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
Q: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him? A: He came home shit faced.
A professor and a doctor both love the same girl. Each one tries to get rid of the other. Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week. Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there. When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.