The best love jokes

Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, love, relationship
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
Vote: has 64.35 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, love, school, teacher
How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, love, men, romantic, women
Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party? A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, love, party
I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
Vote: has 63.65 % from 334 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, love, marriage, wedding
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: divorce, lawyer, love, Valentines day
Once upon a time, my wife and I were in the local restaurant. We have talked to each other, but after a while, I have become quiet and then I started to talk, I have said: "you know, I love you so much, I will never leave you, never, ever, every single day I think only of you, we will be always together." My wife has asked me: "Oh, darling, these words were addressed to me?" I have said only: "Oh, no, sorry, darling, this time I am talking to this bottle of beer."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, communication, food, love, marriage
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, love, time
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove? About a half an hour...
Vote: has 61.10 % from 106 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, love, sex
Without you I can't breath. I love you so much my nose.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, love


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