The best love jokes

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
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More jokes about: black humor, love, navy, religious, Valentines day
I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.
Vote: has 63.44 % from 332 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, love, marriage, wedding
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. "My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?" "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
Vote: has 62.26 % from 185 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, lesbian, love, marriage, sex
Do you believe in love at first set? Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fitness, flirt, love
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, love, time
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, lawyer, love, Valentines day
Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party? A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
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More jokes about: dirty, love, party
What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, love
Without you I can't breath. I love you so much my nose.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, love
There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout. Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today." The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?" Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, fitness, gay, gym, love