The best love jokes

Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, love, weather
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, love
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, love, men, priest, wife
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party? A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, love, party
Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love. The first woman said, “My husband is a psychologist, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that.” The second woman proclaimed, “My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, but really tunes my engine; I like that!” The third woman replied, “Well my husband works for Microsoft and all he does is sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it’s going to be, when I finally get it…”
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, computer, husband, love
What country do cows love to visit? Moo Zealand.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, love
Without you I can't breath. I love you so much my nose.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, love
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove? About a half an hour...
Vote: has 59.10 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, love, sex
The travelin' Texan picked up a sweet young thang in a bar and after several rounds, ordered the biggest steaks they had. Later, they retired to his room, naturally the largest in the hotel. As they undressed, he said, "I'm from Fort Worth, Texas, and we have the biggest of everything." The girl only nodded and smiled. As they began to make love, he exclaimed, "Golleeeee, lil' Lady! What part of Texas y'all from?"
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, love, racist