The best love jokes

Without you I can't breath. I love you so much my nose.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, love
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove? About a half an hour...
Vote: has 59.21 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, love, sex
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, lawyer, love, Valentines day
In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love. In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, college, drunk, love, school
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, love, time
Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed? Yeah... now he has no ears.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, love, women
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. "My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?" "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
Vote: has 56.70 % from 145 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, lesbian, love, marriage, sex
Gay translation I want a commitment. I'm sick of masturbation. Haven't I seen you before? Nice ass. I need you. My hand is tired. You're the only man I've ever cared about. You are the only man who hasn't rejected me. I'm a Romantic. I'm poor. I really want to get to know you better. So I can tell my friends about it. It's just orange juice, try it. 3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head. He's kinda cute. I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue! He's not my type. He won't sleep with me. I miss you so much I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good. I had a wonderful time last night. Who the hell are you? Do you love me? I've done something stupid and you might find out. Do you 'really' love me? I've done something stupid and you're going to find out. I'll give you a call. I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again. I've been thinking a lot. You're not as attractive as when I was drunk. I think we should just be friends. You're ugly. I've learned a lot from you. Next!!!!
Vote: has 56.07 % from 204 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, gay, love, masturbation, ugly
A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend. They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: "Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
Vote: has 55.87 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fish, husband, love, marriage, women
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings": * The Engagement Ring * The Wedding Ring * The Suffe-Ring * The Endu-Ring
Vote: has 55.17 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, love, marriage, wedding