The best love jokes

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
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has 70.74 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: black humor, love, navy, religious, Valentines day
Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: friendship, insulting, love, relationship, time
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, love
Some love one, Some love two. I love one, That is you.
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has 69.55 % from 422 votes. More jokes about: flirt, love, poems, romantic
A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one, when on their way back to the car they little girl stopped her mom. She said "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, sweetheart." her mother replied, "Why ever would you ask such a question?" "The headstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: car, kids, love
A guy and a girl are roommates in college. The girl goes to a frat party, brings home another guy, fucks him, and then decides the next morning that she likes her roommate and therefore it's not going to work out. After her fling left, her roommate came up to her and: Him: "I think I found my soulmate in you..." Her: "Really?!" Him: "Yeah... uh... that guy you brought home last night?" Her: "Oh yeah. I don't care about him anymore." Him: "Great! So he's available?"
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has 69.30 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: college, communication, gay, love, mean
3 things which change women: 1) I love U 2) I liquidated to your account 3) U have lost weight The last one had been some fatalities!
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has 68.87 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: fat, life, love, money, women
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
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has 68.48 % from 343 votes. More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
"I really don’t know girl, but I don’t believe in love at first sight!" "Why?" "Because... How can you tell if the man has a good salary at the first sight?"
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life, love
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
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has 67.90 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, men, women
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