The best management jokes

My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, management, money, work
When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, work
The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, management, money
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, time, work
Office executive "Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?" Boss "Certainly not!" Office executive "Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding."
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, mother in law, office
A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and applause. A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home during a small party. He was a bit foggy after having a drink or two. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" The wife went red with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, with the guests not saying a word, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, management, memory, time, women
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up". He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was that all about, anyway?" The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day."
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, management, time
Don't stand around doing nothing. People will think you're the boss.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, work
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, holiday, management, religious
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, prison