The best management jokes

The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball. The game of choice for frontline workers is football. The game of choice for middle management is tennis. The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf. Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.
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has 78.68 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: dirty, game, management
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!". But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!". Moral: Hard work is never appreciated, only result matters...
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has 77.42 % from 247 votes. More jokes about: baby, life, management, work
The sales chief, the HR chief, and the boss are on their way to lunch around the corner. They detour through an alley and stumble on a beat up but valuable looking brass container. The sales chief picks it up and starts cleaning it with his handkerchief. Suddenly, a genie emerges out of a curtain of purple smoke. The genie is grateful to be set free and offers them each a wish. The HR chief is wide-eyed and ecstatic. She says, "I want to be living on a beautiful beach in Jamaica with a sailboat and enough money to make me happy for the rest of my life." Poof! She disappears. The sales chief says, "Wow! I want to be happily married to a wealthy supermodel with penthouses in New York, Paris, and Hong Kong." Presto, he vanishes. "And how about you?" asks the Genie, looking at the boss. The boss scowls and says, "I want both those idiots back in the office by 2 PM." Moral: Always let your boss speak first.
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has 77.41 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: communication, genie, holiday, management, work
My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: drug, management, money, work
Boy: "Our principal is so stupid!" Girl: "Don't you know who I am?" Boy: "No?" Girl: "I'm the principals daughter". Boy: "Do you know who I am?" Girl: "No." Boy: "Good." *walks away quickly*
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has 76.44 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, school, stupid, vulgar
When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
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has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: management, work
There was an employment advertisement in an office. So a guy went there. Managrer asked him: "Do you know what is the meaning of Ph.D.?" The guy answered: "Passed High school with Difficulties."
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has 75.64 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: management, office, school, student, work
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up". He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was that all about, anyway?" The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day."
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has 75.57 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, management, time
When the office printer color started to look a little off the manager called the local repair shop. To the manager's surprise, the clerk said that it would cost $50 but that he might try reading the manual and doing it himself. The manager replied in astonishment, does your boss know that you discourage business that way? "Yes", replied the clerk. It was his idea. We make more on repairs than cleaning printers if the owner tries to do it himself first.
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has 75.27 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: management, money, office, technology
A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
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has 74.33 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, management, masturbation, work