The best management jokes

The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball. The game of choice for frontline workers is football. The game of choice for middle management is tennis. The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf. Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.
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has 78.89 % from 196 votes. More jokes about: dirty, game, management
There are two essential rules to management. First, the customer is always right. Second, they must be punished for their arrogance.
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has 78.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: customer service, management, mean
My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: drug, management, money, work
When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: management, work
When the office printer color started to look a little off the manager called the local repair shop. To the manager's surprise, the clerk said that it would cost $50 but that he might try reading the manual and doing it himself. The manager replied in astonishment, does your boss know that you discourage business that way? "Yes", replied the clerk. It was his idea. We make more on repairs than cleaning printers if the owner tries to do it himself first.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: management, money, office, technology
Boy: "Our principal is so stupid!" Girl: "Don't you know who I am?" Boy: "No?" Girl: "I'm the principals daughter". Boy: "Do you know who I am?" Girl: "No." Boy: "Good." *walks away quickly*
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has 77.49 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, school, stupid, vulgar
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach ad say "Congrats!". But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!". Moral: Hard work is never appreciated, only result matters...
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has 76.82 % from 250 votes. More jokes about: baby, life, management, work
On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
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has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: family, food, management, sport, war
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up". He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was that all about, anyway?" The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day."
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has 76.32 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, management, time
"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?" "That's right, Sir." "So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?" "That was my dentist."
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has 76.26 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dentist, friendship, management, stupid, work