The best math jokes

Teacher: "Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus four?" Class: "At once!"
Vote: has 76.40 % from 710 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, school, teacher
Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'" Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"
Vote: has 76.27 % from 216 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher
I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
Vote: has 76.14 % from 461 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
Vote: has 75.96 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geek, life, math, science
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4." Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, "4.0" Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"
Vote: has 75.91 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, math
Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket. The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out." The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants." While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They both scream, "What are you doing?" To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."
Vote: has 75.65 % from 169 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, school, science
The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
Vote: has 75.49 % from 236 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, time
Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have? I would have five dollars... You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny... You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...
Vote: has 75.36 % from 494 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, math, money
I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, work
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Vote: has 74.17 % from 65 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math


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