The best math jokes

Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'" Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"
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More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher
Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have? I would have five dollars... You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny... You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...
Vote: has 76.27 % from 441 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, math, money
Teacher: "Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus four?" Class: "At once!"
Vote: has 75.92 % from 678 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, school, teacher
I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
Vote: has 75.90 % from 434 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her. The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
Vote: has 75.57 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, math, money
Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch!" Johnny shouted his mother "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords." But, Mom, replied the boy, "That's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it." Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four."
Vote: has 75.43 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, vulgar
The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
Vote: has 75.28 % from 180 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, time
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer.
Vote: has 75.19 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Vote: has 74.71 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: atheist, math, religious