# The best math jokes

Two statisticians go bird hunting. The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet. The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet. They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"
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"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
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What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer.
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has 68.20 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, geek, math
There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
A statistician's wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted. "Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister. "No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."
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Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
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has 67.42 % from 259 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math, phone
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
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has 66.81 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dog, math, money
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
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