The best math jokes

Two statisticians go bird hunting. The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet. The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet. They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"
has 68.56 % from 217 votes. More jokes about: math
"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
has 68.41 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: math
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer.
has 68.20 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, geek, math
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
has 67.99 % from 257 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math, phone
There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
A statistician's wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted. "Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister. "No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."
has 67.62 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: math
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
Three statisticians are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away. The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left. The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right. The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
has 67.29 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: geek, hunting, math, nerd, science
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
has 66.81 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dog, math, money
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
has 66.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: math
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