The best math jokes

Two statisticians go bird hunting. The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet. The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet. They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"
has 69.41 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: math
A statistician's wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted. "Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister. "No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."
has 69.38 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: math
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: geek, god, math, science
Infinity mathematicians came to bar. First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter... The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, math, nerd, vulgar
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?" Little Johnny: "11" Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
has 69.22 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, stupid, teacher
Math tells us three of the saddnest love stories: 1)Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever. 2)Parallel lines who were never meant to meet. 3)Asymptotes who can get closer and closer but will never be together.
has 69.19 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: math
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
has 69.17 % from 232 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math, phone
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.
has 69.02 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: math, women
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8? Student: Miss horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What do mean? Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
has 68.85 % from 299 votes. More jokes about: math, student, teacher
A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and he's lost. So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?" "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you're hovering, but on your way in here you were at a speed of 1.83 meters per second at 1.929 radians" "Thanks! By the way, are you a statistician?" "I am! But how did you know?" "Everything you've told me is completely accurate; you gave me more detail than I needed, and you told me in such a way that it's no use to me at all!" "Dang! By the way, are you a principal investigator?" "Geeze! How'd you know that?" "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air, you start asking questions after you get into trouble, and you're in exactly the same spot you were a few minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
has 68.32 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: math
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