The best math jokes

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?" After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?" "Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
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has 73.29 % from 322 votes. More jokes about: math, science
The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?" Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"
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has 73.17 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: math, mean, school
A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes were dumb. They established a judges panel of people to ask the questions. On the day of the judging the people started off by asking, "What is 59 + 2?" The first blonde contestant responded by saying, "57?" The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" Then they asked, "What is 15 - 5?" The blonde responded, "20, right?" Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" The judges decided to go easier on her and asked, "What is 1 + 2?" "Is it 3?" said the blonde. The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
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has 72.70 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
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has 72.63 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: math, science, time, women
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
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has 72.26 % from 499 votes. More jokes about: math
What is 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period.
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has 72.16 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: math, sex
George and Harry out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are". Harry let's out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover. George says, "I still can't tell where we are, let's ask that guy on the ground". So Harry yells down at the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?" The man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air". George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer". And Harry says "How can you tell?". George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate and totally useless". That's the end of the Joke, but for you people who are still worried about George and Harry: They end up in the drink, and make the front page of the New York Times: "Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer".
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, math, science, time, travel
Teacher: Your behaviour reminds me of square root of 2? Student: Why? Teacher: Because its’ completely irrational.
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has 72.02 % from 276 votes. More jokes about: math
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