# The best math jokes

What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer.
Vote: has 71.74 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, geek, math
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?" After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?" "Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
Vote: has 71.59 % from 287 votes. Send joke:

A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Vote: has 71.53 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, hunting, math, nerd
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
Vote: has 71.47 % from 481 votes. Send joke:

2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
Teacher: Your behaviour reminds me of square root of 2? Student: Why? Teacher: Because its’ completely irrational.
Vote: has 71.25 % from 257 votes. Send joke:

A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and he's lost. So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?" "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you're hovering, but on your way in here you were at a speed of 1.83 meters per second at 1.929 radians" "Thanks! By the way, are you a statistician?" "I am! But how did you know?" "Everything you've told me is completely accurate; you gave me more detail than I needed, and you told me in such a way that it's no use to me at all!" "Dang! By the way, are you a principal investigator?" "Geeze! How'd you know that?" "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air, you start asking questions after you get into trouble, and you're in exactly the same spot you were a few minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
Vote: has 71.09 % from 74 votes. Send joke: