The best math jokes

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
Vote:
has 79.39 % from 399 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, technology
I'll admit that the Chinese kids in math class are pretty smart. But doing it with their eyes closed... that's a bit cocky.
Vote:
has 79.29 % from 1223 votes. More jokes about: math, racist
Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
Vote:
has 78.72 % from 2508 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, computer, math, racist
Son: Dad, it's so cold in here! Father: Go stand in the corner. Son: Why? Father: The corner is 90 degrees.
Vote:
has 78.26 % from 718 votes. More jokes about: math
Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.
Vote:
has 78.06 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: geek, life, math, science
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
Vote:
has 77.73 % from 305 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, teacher
Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Vote:
has 77.32 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: atheist, math, religious
One day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, "Hey, Mommy! Mommy! Today in school we learned to count. The other kids could only count to three but I can count to Ten..... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!" The mother responds, "Very good honey." The blonde asks, "Is that because I'm a blonde mommy?" And the mother responds, "Yes dear." Next day the blonde came home and went to her mother and said, "Today in school we learned our ABCs! The other kids could only get to D but I can get to K! .... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K!" The mother says, "Very good honey." The blonde then asked. "Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?" The mother responds, "Yes dear." The third day the blonde come home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy today in school we went swimming! But I was the only one who had breasts. Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?" And the mother responds, "No Honey, it's because you're twenty five."
Vote:
has 76.89 % from 322 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, math, school
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Vote:
has 76.89 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, hunting, math, nerd
Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket. The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out." The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants." While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They both scream, "What are you doing?" To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."
Vote:
has 76.58 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: math, school, science
<<<2345
More jokes →
Page 2 of 18.