The best math jokes

A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
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has 70.90 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: math
Little Johnny in Math Class. One day little Johnny was sitting in math class. The teacher asked him, "there are 3 crows on a fence the farmer shoots one how many are left?" Little Johnny replied "none." Confused the teacher asked again. "Johnny, there are 3 crows on the fence the farmer shoots 1 how many are left?" Johnny replies "0." Teacher says, "ok Little Johnny how are you getting this." Little Johnny replies, "if 1 crow dies then the other two fly away, 0 crows left." Teacher says "that's not the correct answer but I like the way your thinking." Little Johnny replies, "ok teach, there 3 girls in an ice-cream parlor. One is sucking the cone, one is licking the cone, and the other is biting the cone, which one is married?" The teacher replies, "I guess the one sucking the cone." Little Johnny says, "no bitch it's the one with the ring on her finger but, I like the way your thinking."
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has 70.84 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, school, vulgar
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
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has 70.69 % from 366 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, teacher
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
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has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8? Student: Miss horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What do mean? Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
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has 70.22 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: math, student, teacher
Math tells us three of the saddnest love stories: 1)Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever. 2)Parallel lines who were never meant to meet. 3)Asymptotes who can get closer and closer but will never be together.
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has 69.91 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: math
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.
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has 69.90 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: math, women
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4? Pupil: That's not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!
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has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
Once you go asian you never miss an equation.
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has 69.09 % from 350 votes. More jokes about: math, racist
Teacher: "Are you good at math?" Pupil: "Yes and no." Teacher: "What do you mean?" Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
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has 68.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
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