The best math jokes

Student: What’s infinity? Math Teacher: Think of a number. Student: Okay, I’ve got one. Teacher: Good. That’s not it.
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has 71.84 % from 408 votes. More jokes about: math
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
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has 71.35 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
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has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: math, mean, school
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
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has 70.79 % from 360 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, teacher
A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
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has 70.68 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: math
Teacher: "Are you good at math?" Pupil: "Yes and no." Teacher: "What do you mean?" Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
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has 70.33 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
Little Johnny in Math Class. One day little Johnny was sitting in math class. The teacher asked him, "there are 3 crows on a fence the farmer shoots one how many are left?" Little Johnny replied "none." Confused the teacher asked again. "Johnny, there are 3 crows on the fence the farmer shoots 1 how many are left?" Johnny replies "0." Teacher says, "ok Little Johnny how are you getting this." Little Johnny replies, "if 1 crow dies then the other two fly away, 0 crows left." Teacher says "that's not the correct answer but I like the way your thinking." Little Johnny replies, "ok teach, there 3 girls in an ice-cream parlor. One is sucking the cone, one is licking the cone, and the other is biting the cone, which one is married?" The teacher replies, "I guess the one sucking the cone." Little Johnny says, "no bitch it's the one with the ring on her finger but, I like the way your thinking."
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has 70.20 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, school, vulgar
Math tells us three of the saddnest love stories: 1)Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever. 2)Parallel lines who were never meant to meet. 3)Asymptotes who can get closer and closer but will never be together.
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has 70.05 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: math
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8? Student: Miss horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What do mean? Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
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has 69.67 % from 318 votes. More jokes about: math, student, teacher
Once you go asian you never miss an equation.
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has 69.58 % from 317 votes. More jokes about: math, racist
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