The best math jokes

Black holes are where God divided by zero.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: geek, god, math, science
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
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has 71.85 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: math, science, time, women
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
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has 71.82 % from 491 votes. More jokes about: math
Teacher: Your behaviour reminds me of square root of 2? Student: Why? Teacher: Because its’ completely irrational.
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has 71.60 % from 268 votes. More jokes about: math
Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch!" Johnny shouted his mother "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords." But, Mom, replied the boy, "That's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it." Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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has 71.22 % from 138 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, vulgar
Three statisticians are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away. The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left. The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right. The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: geek, hunting, math, nerd, science
Student: What’s infinity? Math Teacher: Think of a number. Student: Okay, I’ve got one. Teacher: Good. That’s not it.
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has 70.94 % from 395 votes. More jokes about: math
Life is like a definite integral. Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life, love, math, nerd
A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes were dumb. They established a judges panel of people to ask the questions. On the day of the judging the people started off by asking, "What is 59 + 2?" The first blonde contestant responded by saying, "57?" The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" Then they asked, "What is 15 - 5?" The blonde responded, "20, right?" Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" The judges decided to go easier on her and asked, "What is 1 + 2?" "Is it 3?" said the blonde. The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
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has 70.34 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: blonde, math
Once you go asian you never miss an equation.
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has 70.21 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: math, racist
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