The best mean jokes

Wife: "There's something preying on my mind." Husband: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."
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has 82.72 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
A priest and a nun were on a mission trip up in the mountains when a snowstorm Came up. They saw an abandoned log cabin and went inside. The priest started a fire in the fireplace and found blankets and a sleeping bag but only one bed. The priest told the nun that she could sleep on the bed and he would sleep in the sleeping bag in the floor. As they were alone and beginning to get settled. The young nun said, "father?" in a song-song voice. He answered, "yes, sister?" "I'm cold." The priest got up and went to the closet and got another blanket and covered the nun. As he was settling back into his sleeping bag, she again said, "father?" "Yes, sister?" "I'm still cold." The priest got up and got another blanket from the closet and added it to the sisters' bed, tucking her in. He climbed back into the sleeping bag. Just as he was getting settled and the fire was crackling she called out to him again. "I'm still cold!" He said, "sister?" "Yes?" "We are all alone out here in this cabin in the mountains." "Yes, we are!" "Just this once... Yes? Just tonight... yes? Do you want to pretend that we are married?" "Oh yes! I do!" "Ok... get up and get your own dang blanket!"
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has 82.72 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, priest, weather
So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. "Ma", he said to his Mother, "I'm going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance." Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him. "It's that one", said his mother, without blinking an eye. "Holy cow", exclaimed David, "how in the world did you know it was her?" "I just don't like her", she replied.
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has 82.20 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: family, mean, mother in law, wedding
Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"? A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!
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has 82.05 % from 200 votes. More jokes about: family, life, mean, mother in law
Workplaces are like septic tanks: All the biggest lumps eventually rise to the top.
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has 81.77 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: management, mean, work
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
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has 81.77 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life, mean, men, women
I never knew happiness till I got married. By then it was too late.
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has 81.77 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, time
I can't see the point of going to a lap-dancing club. If I wanted a woman who would take my money and sexually frustrate me, I would get married.
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has 81.65 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, money, sex, women
There are two essential rules to management. First, the customer is always right. Second, they must be punished for their arrogance.
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has 81.65 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: customer service, management, mean
My wife just nudged me and said, "you weren't even listening, were you?". I thought, 'that's a strange way to start a conversation'.
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has 81.57 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
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