The best mean jokes

"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, mean
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I buzz you in. Come inside and elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? "What... You're coming empty handed?"
Vote: has 75.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, jewish, mean
Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.
Vote: has 75.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, dirty, mean, vulgar
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: friendship, mean, Valentines day, wife, work
I was wondering why air is so polluted. Then I remembered people saying "Love is in the air". Now it makes sense.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: love, mean
My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, mean, religious, wife
Q: How was break dancing invented? A: Little black kids stealing hub caps off of moving cars.
Vote: has 73.05 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, insulting, kids, mean
Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, lawyer, mean, viagra
Q: What did the little black kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.
Vote: has 72.31 % from 111 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, Christmas, kids, mean