The best mean jokes

Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you." Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!" Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, game, kids, little Johnny, mean
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, blonde, flirt, mean, wife
When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, friendship, mean
Yo mama is so dirty when she jumped in the bath water the water jumped out and said "No I'm good."
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, mean, Yo mama
The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: christian, death, jewish, mean
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, mean, party
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mean, money, sport, women
A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," he would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrated. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!"
Vote: has 52.26 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, marriage, mean, party
Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? A: He gets taller.
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, lawyer, mean, viagra