The best mean jokes

A man is watching TV supping the fourth can from his six pack. "Don't go", he suddenly yells at the screen. "Do not enter that building. Turn around and walk away. Aargh, you stupid man." His wife calls from the kitchen, "what on earth are you watching?" "Our wedding video," he bravely answers.
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has 82.16 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: beer, communication, mean, wedding
Q: What is a difference between "accident " and "tragedy"? A: Suppose you with the family are beside a pool. You suddenly push your mother in law into the pool - so it's an accident. If she could swim and gets out, in that case, it's a tragedy!
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has 82.13 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: family, life, mean, mother in law
Bob had been listening to his wife practicing her singing. "Honey," he said, "I wish you'd sing the songs about Women's Day." "That's nice of you, Bob," she said. "Why?" "Then I'd only have to hear you once a year!"
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has 82.12 % from 443 votes. More jokes about: mean, music, time, wife, women
Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? A: Beat it. We're closed.
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has 81.39 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, mean, vulgar
Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!
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has 81.21 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, wife
I can't see the point of going to a lap-dancing club. If I wanted a woman who would take my money and sexually frustrate me, I would get married.
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has 81.12 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: marriage, mean, money, sex, women
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
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has 80.86 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: mean
Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
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has 80.29 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, wife, work
I was walking through the cemetery the other day when a thought crossed my mind. Call me a sentimental old fool if you like, but I couldn't resist it. I texted my ex saying 'wish you were here'.
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has 80.16 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: age, death, mean, morbid, relationship
A man was talking to his wife about going to the social security office. He said he would go the next day. So the next morning he goes but when he gets there he realized he forgot his license and she said that was fine she could tell his age by the hair on his chest. So he opened his shirt and everything went smoothly. He got home and told his wife what happened and she said: "well honey if you would have pulled down your pants you could have filed for disability."
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has 80.00 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, mean, sex, wife
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