The best mean jokes

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, graduation, mean, money, time
A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I buzz you in. Come inside and elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" "Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? "What... You're coming empty handed?"
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, jewish, mean
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon. For a long time, they could not decide upon any game. Suddenly, Jenny had an idea. She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. "Let's play schools". "OK!" said Jinny. "But I'm going to be absent."
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: friendship, game, mean, school, time
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
How come there aren't that many jokes about Jim Jones? The punchlines are too long.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, mean
Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, mean, wife
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, health, mean, men, women
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, mean, sport