The best mean jokes

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
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has 80.93 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: divorce, mean, men, money, women
Drunk man stumbles upstairs late at night and bursts through the bedroom door with a duck under his arm. He announces to his now awake annoyed wife that "This is the pig I've been screwing." The wife unimpressed said "You drunk arsehole... That's a duck". The bloke looks down at the duck and then looks back up at his wife and says... "I was talking to the duck!"
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has 80.74 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, drunk, mean, vulgar, wife
Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?" Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree. They asked me to bring it." Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants." Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
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has 80.62 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football, kids, mean
The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: Management.
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has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: management, mean, work
Workplaces are like septic tanks: All the biggest lumps eventually rise to the top.
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has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: management, mean, work
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
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has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life, mean, men, women
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. "Give me a couple of steaks," he says. "We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher. "Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
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has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, marriage, mean
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife? A: Let him keep her!
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has 79.57 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: mean, men, wife
A wife says, "Hey! Look at that funny guy who's been drinking a lot." The husband responds, "Who is he?" The wife answers, "Well, five years ago, he was my boyfriend and I denied him for marriage." "Oh my God! He's still celebrating his freedom!" says the husband.
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has 79.54 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, life, marriage, mean, men
My ex-girlfriend loves the heat. She has a nostalgia for hell.
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has 79.35 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: love, mean, relationship
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