The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: Management.
Vote:
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife?
A: Let him keep her!
Workplaces are like septic tanks: All the biggest lumps eventually rise to the top.
Vote:
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store.
"Give me a couple of steaks," he says.
"We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher.
"Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
Vote:
Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?"
Me: "Drunk"
Son: "What's mom gonna be?"
Me: "Mad"
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
KFC in Asia?
Korean fried cat.
Vote:
Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
A: Beat it. We're closed.