The best mean jokes

At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion. One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head. "No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair." As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."
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has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: beauty, business, communication, customer service, mean
Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!" Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
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has 77.19 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, mean, women
My wife told me, "Don't get upset if someone calls you fat." "You're much bigger than that."
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has 77.17 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, mean
If you see me smiling, I'm probably thinking of doing something evil. If I'm laughing, I've already done it.
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has 76.89 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: life, mean
Son: "What are you going to be for Halloween dad?" Me: "Drunk" Son: "What's mom gonna be?" Me: "Mad"
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has 76.83 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dad, drunk, family, Halloween, mean
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. "Give me a couple of steaks," he says. "We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher. "Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, marriage, mean
Q: How do you circumcise a redneck? A: You kick his sister in the jaw.
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has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: family, mean, redneck
I was walking through the cemetery the other day when a thought crossed my mind. Call me a sentimental old fool if you like, but I couldn't resist it. I texted my ex saying 'wish you were here'.
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has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: age, death, mean, morbid, relationship
I was wondering why air is so polluted. Then I remembered people saying "Love is in the air". Now it makes sense.
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has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: love, mean
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps? A: New Jersey got first pick.
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: geography, lawyer, mean
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