Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!"
Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."
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Joke has 79.28 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, vulgar
There are two essential rules to management.
First, the customer is always right. Second, they must be punished for their arrogance.
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Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.
"Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag."
"That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought."
Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
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Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!"
Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
My wife told me, "Don't get upset if someone calls you fat."
"You're much bigger than that."
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My ex-girlfriend loves the heat.
She has a nostalgia for hell.
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The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
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At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion.
One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head.
"No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair."
As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."
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Joke has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: beauty, business, communication, customer service, mean
Q: How are women and tornadoes alike?
A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they go.
A man stumbles across an old lamp while he was at his attorney's office.
Figuring his luck has to change, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie.
The genie explains to him that he gets three wishes, and whatever he wishes for, his wife gets double.
The man asks for his first wish.
"The first thing I want is a million dollars."
The genie says, "Okay, but you know that your wife gets two million."
The man said, "That's okay. My second wish is for a large house on a remote tropical paradise."
The genie says, "Then your wife will have two beautiful houses."
The man replied, "That's fine. Now for my third wish. I want you to beat me half to death."