The best mean jokes

At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion. One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head. "No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair." As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."
has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: beauty, business, communication, customer service, mean
An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for relief. After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads specifically for people with back pain—all on the bottom shelf.
has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: customer service, health, mean
The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. "Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." "Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometers, say a Mercedes convertible." The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. "Wow. Are you kidding?" "Yeah. But you started it."
has 76.74 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: accountant, graduation, mean, money, work
My mother in law was complaining about her dentures to me. She told: "Whenever I get overweight it'll be a stench; when I make myself thin it would be stretched; when something squeezes in it then I 'll faint from enjoyment!"
has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: fat, mean, mother in law
Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!" Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."
has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, vulgar
A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry. Wife thinks for a minute and says... "of all your friends you have the biggest dick."
has 76.32 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, marriage, mean, sex
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps? A: New Jersey got first pick.
has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: geography, lawyer, mean
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. "Give me a couple of steaks," he says. "We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher. "Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, marriage, mean
A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
has 75.94 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, mean, party, ugly, women
Q: Why do French tanks have rear-view mirrors? A: So they can see the battlefield.
has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, mean, war
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