The best mean jokes

There are two essential rules to management. First, the customer is always right. Second, they must be punished for their arrogance.
has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: customer service, management, mean
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: friendship, mean, Valentines day, wife, work
Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!" Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
has 77.81 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, mean, women
Q: Why do French tanks have rear-view mirrors? A: So they can see the battlefield.
has 77.74 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, mean, war
My wife told me, "Don't get upset if someone calls you fat." "You're much bigger than that."
has 77.36 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, mean
My ex-girlfriend loves the heat. She has a nostalgia for hell.
has 77.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: love, mean, relationship
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
has 77.02 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, mean, wife
At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion. One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head. "No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair." As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."
has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: beauty, business, communication, customer service, mean
Q: How are women and tornadoes alike? A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they go.
has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: mean, weather, women
A man stumbles across an old lamp while he was at his attorney's office. Figuring his luck has to change, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. The genie explains to him that he gets three wishes, and whatever he wishes for, his wife gets double. The man asks for his first wish. "The first thing I want is a million dollars." The genie says, "Okay, but you know that your wife gets two million." The man said, "That's okay. My second wish is for a large house on a remote tropical paradise." The genie says, "Then your wife will have two beautiful houses." The man replied, "That's fine. Now for my third wish. I want you to beat me half to death."
has 76.51 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: death, genie, mean, money, wife
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