The best memory jokes

When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
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has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: doctor, memory, money
Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: friendship, health, memory
An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association. A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him. "What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor. "Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?" "A rose?" asked the neighbor. "Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"
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has 74.73 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: couple, memory, old people
Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me." The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, memory, old people, time
Doctor: "Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?" Patient: "What pills?"
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drug, memory
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people. It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch. Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
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has 72.60 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: black humor, geography, memory, money, old people
Yo momma so old... Jurassic Park brought back the memories...
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has 72.48 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: insulting, memory, old people, Yo mama
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
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has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, geek, medical, memory, science
Q: Why was the wizard kicked out of school. A: Because he forgot how to spell.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, memory, school
This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench in front of a large pond. On the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and says, "I could really go for an ice cream cone." Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one." Wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down." Hubby replies, "No I won't; what do you want?" Wife says, "Get me a strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles." Hubby replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember. Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns. The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost?" The hubby replies, "No, and I got what you wanted." The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries! Wife says, "I knew you you should have written the order down." Hubby says, "What do you mean - every thing is there." To which the wife replies, "No, it's not... look, you forgot the pickles!"
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, memory, old people, time