The best money jokes

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax, work
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife. "Dear husband, you wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden." The prisoner writes back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
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has 77.53 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, money, prison, wife
How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax
If you think nobody care if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life, money
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life, money
A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?" Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"
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has 77.49 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, money, school, teacher, wife
Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." Friend: "What did he do?" Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."
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has 77.47 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: doctor, friendship, health, memory, money
A Rolls Royce pulls up in to an expensive restaurant. A sheik emerges, followed by a harem of women and a rooster. After ordering for himself and his harem, the sheik requests a basket of apples for the rooster. The rooster proceeds to eats three baskets of apples. The waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster. The sheik explains, "A genie granted me three wishes. My first wish was to have an endless supply of money. My second wish was to have many beautiful women. And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock."
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has 77.47 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: car, food, life, money, women
3 things which change women: 1) I love U 2) I liquidated to your account 3) U have lost weight The last one had been some fatalities!
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has 77.43 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: fat, life, love, money, women
Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents. Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?
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has 77.26 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, money, music
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