The best money jokes

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh, good heavens! I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat. Are you nuts?" The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?" The boy replied, "Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but 'realistically', we’re living with two h***s and a future congressman."
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, dad, kids, money, school
A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch. He looks at a watch called "the George Bush Watch" and asks the sales clerk why there are no hands. The sales clerk says "you are suppose to read his lips." He then looks at a watch called the "Ross Perot Watch" and notices that it isn’t running – the sales clerk tells him "it runs, it doesn’t run, it runs, it doesn’t run..." He then notices a watch called the "Bill Clinton Watch" and sees that it runs, has hands and looks like a pretty good watch. He asks the sales clerk how much. The sales clerk replies "$19.95 plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax..."
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
How do you start a Jewish parade? Throw a penny down main street.
Vote: has 70.16 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, money, racist
A man and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the man that it would cost 45000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem. The husband said "ship her home". Shocked, the undertaker asked "but sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money ?" The husband replied "a long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead ... I cant take the chance !"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, holiday, men, money, wife
Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, money
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, money
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: democrat, food, money, political
A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic. "Everything ok with your car now?" "Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies. "Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?" "Yeah, but he didn't. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, mechanic, money
A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper. There was another knock, so he opened the door again. This time, he looked down and saw a small snail. "Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading. A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail. "What'd you do that for?"
Vote: has 69.99 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, money
Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, management, money