The best money jokes

A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint. "Give me all your money", he says. The muggee isindignant. "You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent." "In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
Vote:
has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries. After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here." "At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."
Vote:
has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, money
Yo mama so poor that when I stepped on a cigarette she said "who turned off the heat?"
Vote:
has 73.44 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00." A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER $50.00."
Vote:
has 73.41 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, money, prison, women
As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex, the husband put his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night, while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the bank to the floor where it smashed. To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there were handfuls of five and ten dollar bills. He asks his wife what's up. "Well," she replied, "not everyone is as cheap as you are."
Vote:
has 73.40 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? A: They never want to log off.
Vote:
has 73.31 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, internet, money
Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.
Vote:
has 73.17 % from 272 votes. More jokes about: fart, god, insulting, money, Yo mama
A man was telling his wife that he wanted to go to this country in which women paid men twenty dollars every time they had sex. She replied, "I do too!" He gets confused and asks why. She tells him, "I'd like to see how long you can last on forty dollars a month."
Vote:
has 73.08 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, wife
Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.
Vote:
has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: democrat, food, money, political
A Koala and a Prostitiute had just finished having sex, so the Prostitute said, " All right, now give me my money!" The Koala replied, " Money, what for?" " What for?", the Prostitute growled, "Look up Prostitute in the dictionary and read what it says." So the Koala looked up prostitute in the dictionary. It said, "Prostitute- A woman who is paid to have sex." " Okay," said the Koala, " now you look up Koala in the dictionary, and read what it says." So the Prostitute looked up Koala in the dictionary. It said, "Koala- A furry animal who eats bush, then leaves."
Vote:
has 72.97 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, sex
<<<25262728
More jokes →
Page 25 of 85.