The best money jokes

Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
Vote:
has 72.91 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, money, sex, women
Yo Mama So fat... She sat on top of Walmart and lowered the prices.
Vote:
has 72.91 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: fat, money, Yo mama
A Koala and a Prostitiute had just finished having sex, so the Prostitute said, " All right, now give me my money!" The Koala replied, " Money, what for?" " What for?", the Prostitute growled, "Look up Prostitute in the dictionary and read what it says." So the Koala looked up prostitute in the dictionary. It said, "Prostitute- A woman who is paid to have sex." " Okay," said the Koala, " now you look up Koala in the dictionary, and read what it says." So the Prostitute looked up Koala in the dictionary. It said, "Koala- A furry animal who eats bush, then leaves."
Vote:
has 72.78 % from 284 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, sex
"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you." "Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
Vote:
has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, mean, money, Valentines day
Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi. The taxi driver figured that they were not in their minds so, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them: "we have arrived". The first man gave him money. The second one thanked the taxi driver. The third one slapped him (the taxi driver). The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them had realized that the car didn't move an inch, but he faked surprise and asked the third man: "what was that for?". The drunken man replied: "control your speed next time! you nearly killed us!!!"
Vote:
has 72.76 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, money
Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
Vote:
has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, money
Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?
Vote:
has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money
This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
Vote:
has 72.48 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: car, death, dirty, money, wife
3 things which change women: 1) I love U 2) I liquidated to your account 3) U have lost weight The last one had been some fatalities!
Vote:
has 72.39 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: fat, life, love, money, women
A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra. Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished - but then realized "it's only going to cost us $30 per year."
Vote:
has 72.18 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: marriage, medical, money, sex, viagra
<<<25262728
More jokes →
Page 25 of 86.