The best money jokes

Q: How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? A: Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, lawyer, light bulb, money
I and my two mates went to a hooker and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch. My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner! My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50! I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.! "What do you mean," they asked me. "I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, friendship, money, sex, time
The psychiatrist asks his patient: "Do you really think that you are a horse?" The patient: "Yes." The Doctor: "Ok, it will be a long and expensive therapy." The patient: "It's ok, I have enough money." Doctor: "And how it is possible?" The patient: "Because I have won three times horse races."
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, horse, money
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. "Look," she said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other." "You're wrong," the young man declared. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."
Vote: has 72.56 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, party, time, wedding
A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. "Were you worried, father?" "Yes, I was really worried... I want to know how much did that date cost you..." "It cost me only four euros!" "Hmm, it's not that much." "I know father... But the girl didn't have any more money..."
Vote: has 72.54 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, dating, money
Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
Vote: has 72.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, money
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
Vote: has 72.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
Yo' Mama is so poor, when I asked where her bathroom was, she said, "Fourth bottle from the left."
Vote: has 72.13 % from 102 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, Yo mama
A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday. Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?
Vote: has 72.05 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
A 60-year-old millionaire has just married a 20-year-old model. ‘You crafty old devil,’ says his friend. ‘How did you manage to get a lovely young wife like that?’ ‘Easy,’ replies the millionaire. ‘I told her I was 95.’
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money


<<<27282930
More jokes →
Page 27 of 83.