Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.
A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 100 Egyptian pounds. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 20?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 10?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" The Egyptian man says, "Oh, the pills are worth it my wife isn't."
Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
The Bible says I'll pay for my sins. I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
How do you start a Jewish parade? Throw a penny down main street.
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.