The best money jokes

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much? A: They're cheaper than day rates.
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, money
Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, management, money
A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "One penny?!", exclaimed the guy. The barman replied: "Yes!" So, the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks: "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with fries, peas, and a salad?" "Certainly, sir", replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money." "How much money?", inquires the guy. "Four cents", he replies. "Four cents?!", exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The barman replies: "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says: "What's he doing with your wife?" The bartender replies: "Same as what I'm doing to his business."
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, business, money, wife
A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, work
A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a loan application. "Do you have references?" she asked. The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, money
Applying for a job, a new lawyer was asked if paying back his law school tuition would be any special problem. He replied that he paid it back right after his first case. When asked how he managed that, he said, "Well, my dad sued me for it and won."
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, work
"Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Maryland State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years."
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: game, money
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, money
A mugger stops a guy on the street at gunpoint. "Give me all your money", he says. The muggee isindignant. "You can't do this," he yells. "I'm anIRS agent." "In that case," says the mugger, "give me all MY money."
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
I lost 125 pounds. It took me a long time, and it cost me a lot of money, but I finally divorced the bitch!
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: divorce, mean, money, time
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