The best money jokes

We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
Vote: has 69.05 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, money
There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
Vote: has 68.99 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

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A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
Vote: has 68.97 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, dog, math, money
We’re all self-made but only the rich and successful like to admit it.
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Patient: "Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Please give me your bill." Doctor: "Be calm. You are not strong enough for this yet."
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More jokes about: doctor, money
A man was walking through a rather seedy section of town, when a bum walked up to him and asked the man for two dollars. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The bum replied, "No." Then the man asked, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said, "No." Then the man asked the bum, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
Vote: has 68.65 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, money, wife
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
Vote: has 68.61 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, sex, travel, wife, work
Three men discuss the Christmas presents they bought for their wives. The first man says that he bought his wife a vacation home in the Bahamas and one in Jamaica. "That way," he explains, "if she doesn't like one, she can use the other." The second man says he had bought his wife a sports car and a limo for exactly the same reason. The third man says, "I bought my wife a negligee and a vibrator. That way, if she doesn't like the negligee, she can go screw herself."
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, money, Santa
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money? A: In a snow bank.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, winter